Metro Manila: A Survival Guide
You see the vast expanse of urban decay. You see an endless road, cluttered with tricycles, jeepneys, taxis, and various vehicles. In the horizon you see an impressive skyline of buildings, and at their feet you see a pile of makeshift homes made of used tires and rusted corrugated metal. And everything is coated with a think layer of smog and cigarette smoke.
Welcome, my friend, to Metro Manila.
It may look benign from a distance, but I swear, you will get killed if you are not careful. Metro Manila is home to various types of creatures, harmless and predatory, and you will lose your belongings (like an unviolated asshole, among other things) if you let your guard down for even just a moment. What you, need, kid, is a guide to guide you through the dirty and dangerous streets of Manila in spite of your naiveté.
Read the rest of this entry »
In This Entry Ade Talks About Marriage. And Stuff
I spent the weekend in internet-less rural Laguna. You know, those places where we have to hunt wild boars for food and offer burnt sacrifices to Maria Makiling to prevent the dragon from eating the sun, hence delaying the end of the world and giving the tribes more time to engage in orgies and human sacrifices.
Not Laguna
But that’s not the entire point of the article. You see, my grandparents live in that place. But that still is not my point.
You see, my aunt got married two months ago and since me and my aunt have a very small age gap (see what I did there, tita?) she finally got relieved of the pressure of getting married and stuff. And guess who the grandfolks set their eyes on next.
Clue: His name starts with “A” and ends with “de Magnaye”.
So cue clueless Ade, walking into the nipa hut (yes, they live in a nipa hut. I kid not. Well, the nipa hut’s got airconditioning. So whatev.), greeting his grandfolks like he always does. Then his grandpa, sensing a moment of weakness, drops the bomb:
“Say, Ade, when are you getting married?”
You do not ask that to a single 25-year old who has no plans of getting married just yet because 90% of the women he meets treat him as a gay best friend only straight while the remaining 10% treat him as a sexual offender.
Read the rest of this entry »
TMB Presents The Banana Gangbang Rock Festival: HOLY CRAP IT WAS AWESOMETASTIC.
On May 3, 2008, the retarded boys of The Man Blog finally held its highly-anticipated concert, the first-ever Banana Gangbang Rock Festival at Bela Bar in Greenhills. Featuring bands from the members of TMB, it was an awesome night full of face-melting rock and golden beer. Lots of it.
More pictures after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
Iron Man in 5 Minutes
IRON MAN IN 5 MINUTES FADE IN: EXT. INSIDE AN APC CRUISING THROUGH AFGHANISTAN - DAY TONY STARK is flirting with some SOLDIERS TONY STARK Hi, I'm Tony Stark. You might know me as Robert Downey Jr. and I'm perfect for this role because I'm an alcoholic. SOLDIERS OMG we're in the same van as Robert Downey Jr! Let's all fanboy him and do kawaii signs because we're idiots and we'll die within the next 3 minutes! The APC in front of them explodes. The soldiers try to protect TONY STARK the best way they could- by getting killed and leaving TONY STARK to fend for himself.
Looking For A Job?
Because he currently has a double-barrel shotgun pointed at my head as of this very moment, I will give in to Rico’s command request and post this. Because I value my life so.
Anyway, if you are out of a job, or looking for a new one, or if you just want to touch the Mike’s nipples because you’ll be working in the same office as he is, US Auto Parts Philippines is looking for people. So If you have the following:
- Experience with blogging platforms, preferably Wordpress
- Strong English communication skills
- Willingness to work full-time in the vicinity of Barangay Kapitolyo, Pasig City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Just email Rico here if you’re interested! Okay, Rico? You may put the big nice fucking gun down. Now.
…Rico?
DISCLAIMER: This is not paid for (although it would be nice *cough*) nor am I affiliated in any way with US Auto Parts. I am just nice like that.
